February 27th, 2008

DLM: WTF?

...And the strangest things seem suddenly routine

Me: Do you do much car restyling, sir?
Customer: Well, when I do I usually just sick a couple kilograms in the seat and send it over the border...

Coworker: I hate this job. I get so little money.
Me: Yeah, me too.
Coworker: Sometimes I think I should quit and go into porn, but the last person I met who did that was kind of skeezy. He injected meth up my ass.
Me: What?
Coworker: He said it was lube, but I knew it was a syringe with the needle broken off.

Future roommate's boyfriend: How are the implants?
Me: The what?
FRB: The breast implants.
Me: ... I got my nipples pierced, not breast implants!
FRB: Well it's not like I go around staring at your breasts!